JOCELYN
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Jocelyn Yeoh Shu YiKranji Secondary School
30June1993
Netballer
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 3:32 AM
Question marks.
After some chemistry work,I decided to use the computer and yes I unknowingly clicked onto some past msn conversations again.It's really funny as I read the past conversations with my friends.I miss those times when we quarrelled for nothing,argued,bickered,etc etc on msn :) But yeah,those were the times.They can only be served as memories I guess.As time passed,people change too.So,yeah:) Sometimes things do stay the same,but some don't.Sometimes I really feel that I'm living in my own world,oblivious to what's happening around me,only concerned about the people and things around me. That day after I talked with Ysabel,I realised I do not know a lot of things that've been going on.
Sometimes I feel that people can read me like a book.I used to put up a tough front so people wouldn't guess my emotions but recently I totally failed to.Hmm.
Sometimes I feel stupid,clinging onto memories people have long forgotten.But at the same time I feel dam blessed too. Because I still have memories to cling on to.Others might have forgot,things might have changed and I might be the forgotten,but I still feel happy looking back.
For many years I've been putting on a facade in front of someone.I've been trying my best to be who she wants me to be.Apparently she's not at all bothered by my change. I've been trying so hard all these while,so much so that I'm really tired.A sentence from her can instantly break my heart I swear.But last week I decided to give up.
But did you know how much courage I've to take to make that decision?Because I know once I've made that decision,there'll only be dreadful replays which I fear,I'm afraid,I'm scared of.And that alone can make my heart bleed.
I still have a vivid impression of what happened when I'm young.Minor incidents as they seemed,they're etched in my mind forever.You forgot I'm still a kid.Those incidents are more than enough to tear me apart.
xjxj.
p/s:sorry if this post didn't make any sense but i swear its not directed to anyone of you reading here.