JOCELYN
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Jocelyn Yeoh Shu YiKranji Secondary School
30June1993
Netballer
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Sunday, March 1, 2009, 3:53 AM
Tomorrow is going to be a really bad day.We'll be getting back our physics history and chinese p1.All the subjects which I did badly.
And,we're playing our last match tml.
Team mates,let's play a good game tml.Plz let me enjoy my last 40minutes of game.And end everything on a happy note.We'll do this together, for the last time.
I'm feeling so.damn.fucking.torn.
xjxj.
I really wish I can get back on my feet again and stop all these emo-ing shit.I know my friends wouldn't like to see me in this way but do you think I like it either?No I don't.In fact I'm feeling terrible inside.But I can't stop myself from feeling this way. It just hurts so badly. I really hate it. I hate saying that I just need time to get over it but still end up crying over the same thing,feeling sad over the same incident. I really really want to stop myself from being so negative and emo.Because I know this is not me.I'm supposed to be smiling and laughing.I know.I do know that whatever I say or feel now will not change or determine any more facts but I really really can't stop myself from behaving this way.I swear I tried.I did.But I failed.I keep telling myself:C'mon Jocelyn you can do it.You are definitely more than who you think you are.In the past I can fall and stand up even stronger than before.But now I can't even get up on my own.So what's wrong?It's just one of my down moments in life yet I'm already defeated by it.People say it's a minor setback but I know to me it's not.That's not what I think.I know I'm supposed to quickly get over this setback and continue in life.I do know.But I can't execute my thoughts. Just what's wrong.I really hope I can feel better tomorrow.I am super motivated to play my last game tomorrow.It's my last game.I'm gonna make it my best one.I'm going to go for every ball.I'm gonna try every inteceptions I can make. I'm gonna make all my shots count.I want to step out of the court smiling whether we won or lost,KNOWING THAT I'VE DONE MY BEST.I can I can I can. Plz.Just let me enjoy the game for the last time.
I'll run as fast as my legs could carry me.
xjxj.