JOCELYN
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Jocelyn Yeoh Shu Yi
Kranji Secondary School
30June1993
Netballer
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Yongkian
Zhenyi
Peisi
Yuting
Nadia
Ginny
Melissa
Brandon
Friday, February 27, 2009, 11:16 PM

I didn't blog yesterday because I know that my emotions are out of my control.I might say wrong things so I decided to blog today.

So yes.We lost to MGS.We were down by 2 in the first quarter,and we drew after the half match.But we just lost EVERYTHING in the third and fourth quarter.I swear EVERYTHING.I don't know what the score is.But like what Miss Ong has said.It doesn't matter how much the goal difference is.A loss is still considered a loss.

I don't think we're on par because MGS is off-form.I swear we were REALLY fighting hard.Everyone wanted it so badly in the first half.I could see it.I could sense it. But what happened?Why did things go so wrong in the third and fourth quarter?I couldn't figure it out.

All I know we were so damn close. Really so close.We played hard not only because it's driven by our passion.On my side I also wanted a chance to prove that Kranji Netball isn't a loser cca.I wanted to prove that Kranji Netball is a cca the school can be proud of.Is that too much to ask for?

I was so tensed up during the first half.I knew we could win.We just had to continue fighting even harder.But things just turned out like that.And I know it's not because of luck.Definitely not.

I broke down immediately after the whole match because I really couldn't take it anymore.At RV,on the bus,in school and at home.I was thinking and thinking.So many what ifs.We were so.damn.close to our goal.It just takes that bit more to west zone top 4.

I really wanted it.West zone top 4 doesn't consist of top schools.It can be a neighbourhood school too.Like what Miss Ong has said,we must show to others neighbourhood schools are coming out.

People tell me,"It's okay.It's alright.Take it as a learning experience." I admit I used to console others with this as well but yesterday deep down in my heart I know it's not okay,it's not alright at all. Face it,who doesn't want to win?Although the process matters more,I believe everyone still play hard because partly they also want to win. I don't like losing either.I agree that I'm taking this hard and not easy but my heart will ache because I feel that it was really almost ours.So near yet so far..

The match.I did go all out.Despite how nervous I was I tried rly hard to put in all my shots. But I realised 100% is not enough.We needed more than that. I don't know what I was crying for.Was it because we worked hard yet we didn't get it?Was it because I felt that we didn't work hard enough?Or was it because I'm just weak? I dont know.I just now scenes just kept replaying in my mind.

I went home.I thought bout it.And I still cried.But one of Weihong's msgs struck me really hard.I just didn't accept that I've lost. I really gotta put it down. As much as I wanted to argue back,I couldn't.

But I don't deny.I still feel terribly sad now. Now and then when I think of it.But the fact is that,we really lost.No point harping on it though it still bring pains and aches whenever I think of it.

Whatever it is,I think that we've put up a tough fight for MGS for first half. Maybe we just gotta work even harder.It's something good I guess.They could sense the danger from us. So I thank them for the good game too.They were rly strong.Physically and mentally.

To all of my team mates :

Sorry for going so hard at all of you during trainings or matches.I guess I wanted it too much so much so that I've became really impatient and fierce that I go extremely harsh on my words.Whatever I said,please forget them.I didn't mean them. I swear I wanted the best for the team.

Thank you and I love every single one of you.Although I do admit I get pissed off at certain times when I feel that we're actually slacking,I swear I would NEVER deny this team is awesome,this team is really fun-loving.I enjoy being in this team.From the bottom of my heart.I'll miss the times when we go so loud and crazy on the bus along the journey.Some bus drivers were pissed off some encouraged us to go even louder because they were sleepy.I'll miss the times playing on court with every single one of you.After all B'div09 only happens once.Meihui for the amazing defence.Lyndi for the tight defense during centre pass.Yuting for being such an all rounder,being there whenever we needed you.Melissa for always fighting and giving in your best.Ginny/Catherine for giving in your best on court.And Nadia for your impressive shots and rebounds. Not forgetting Meixuan Amanda Sheena Ada Sherwin Najiha and other team mates for your support along the court.They rly meant a lot. I'll miss the times we go crazy at diff occasions.Farewell party when we throw flour at each other,feed each other with prawns and diff food.Yuting's birthday celebration when we took the most awesome pictures. I'll miss the training times when we did sprints,courtgame,suicides together.I'll miss the time we play cards whenever we're waiting for training to start.I'll miss the times when I start wearing the GK/GD bib and everyone starts suaning me like what.I'll miss every single team.You guys really meant a lot to me I swear.Really luv you all.

It's the first time playing with the sec 3s this year and yes it's also the last.No matter how much unhappiness or misunderstandings are created in this team,let's just forgive and forget.The secondary 4s are probably gonna be busy preparing for their O levels.The secondary 3s and other sec 4s are gonna merge with the current sec 2s so I really hope everything goes well for all of you. Jiayou.Bdiv'09,the team which only happens once.Love.

Coach:

Miss Angie Yeo:I rly miss you a lot.I miss your screamings and shoutings on court.The way you're so fierce at us but off court times so fun and loving.I was rly heartbroken that time when I knew that you're leaving us.But I know Kranji is not a place where your career can prosper with so many restrictions.Seeing you coach Nanyang/Clementi town now,I really feel happy for you :) All the best I love you.

Miss Joanne Ong: Although you've just coached us last year,you're rly very patient coach.Unlike Miss Yeo you prefer the soft way with encouragements etc etc.Thanks for being so patient with us but I know we've rly disappointed you in the MG match because it was the first time I saw you shouting.I'm sorry for everything I've done but I love you too.

Teachers:
Miss Yeo,Mdm Rosnah,Miss Chang:Thanks for those times you've encouraged us and the times you all have taken to bring us down for matches despite having so many meetings etc etc. Thank you.Miss Yeo although you're very busy I could see and sense the effort you are putting in for this team.Mdm Rosnah and Miss Chang although you all are new thanks for everything and Miss Chang what you've told Mel and me really made an impact on me. " Just play a good game and you will leave no regrets for yourself."

Supporters:
We dont have many supporters since RV is like quite far but I still thank those who've made the effort to go down and support us:) Ada Sheena Nigel Bjorn Mr Kong and Mr Kat. I hope I didn't leave anyone out.They came down to support us whenever they can.I rly apprecaite it. Of course those who had the heart to support us but couldn't go.I really appreciate it.Special thanks to Mr Kat for the amazing postcard and support.Although you went there just to see us score 2 goals ( lightning risk ) I swear your presence was really really appreciated.Although you're a band teacher in charge you actually made th effort to support us when I thought no teachers would ever do so.Thank you.I rly appreciate it.Of course,those who wished us good luck/all the best etc.Luv every single one of you.

Opponents:
All those schools who've played with us.Thank you for the nice game:) Thank you for fighting till the end and putting a good fight for us.

So our last match is on Monday.With Yuan Ching.Fight on guys. This is gonna be the last competitive match B div'09 is gonna play together. We play the last one well.Secondary 4s,our last 40 minutes.Cherish it.Step out of the court smiling. Step out of the court knowing we've put up a tough fight.Leave no regrets.We'll do this together. Yuanching is strong mentally and physically.They go for every single ball.WE WILL TOO.I know it's gonna be the last match I will enjoy,the last match I play without any pressure,the last match I play the best.I swear there will not be any scoldings from me,only encouragements. Jiayou team. Luv you guys,alot.

I dont know if I am going to pursue Netball when I head on to JC/Poly but netball is a passion that has definitely left an impact on me.It taught me to be determined,to fight hard for what you want.Netball gave me a goal. Although I didn't achieve it,but I dare say I fought for it.I love netball.Alot.

To the rest of my team mates,continue fighting.We'll fight the same goal. We'll not give up.It's our goal,nobody is going to steal it away from us. Every story needs a good ending.We'll end our last match together with a happy note. Let's do it.

The pain still lingers within me but I will get over it and put up a good and tough fight on Monday.Trust me. I will. I just needed time to get over it.Soon.Melissa,it's not easy but plz get over it soon too. Even the strongest fall.But the strength lies in falling hard but getting up even tougher and stronger.

I love team Bdiv09. The most awesome team ever.

xjxj.