JOCELYN
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Jocelyn Yeoh Shu YiKranji Secondary School
30June1993
Netballer
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008, 5:48 AM
My brother fell into some stupid hole during his army training T.T Hope he's fineee.Sister's birthday yesterday happy birthday!:DPast few papers were really bad.Chinese was tough,english was tougher! SS today was generally okay.First time I still has got 10more minutes to slack and check answers.Physics was tough.Before the exam MrKoh said it's not easy to endure the whole paper but at that time I thought he was joking cause 2 hours is too much for a physics paper.But today I realised I'm wrong ): I was really tired for the paper and didn't have the time to finish it properly ): I dont know how to do all the electrostatic questions ): Nvm,no point crying over spilt milk so let's jiayou for emaths and history yay!:D
Headed to lot one with shroomzx tao melissa nadnut and have lunch at food culture . I'm one mature kid cause I ate yongtaufoo HAHAHAHAHHA. Fyi,yong tau foo is classified a matured food in my definition list HAHAHAHA (: Slacked about with nadnut and melissa in library after that.
Headed home and slept for like 5 hours hahaha.Woke up at bout 8pm and headed to yewtee clinic for checkup.But I didn't have any cause I didnt bring my health booklet.So stupid can): I walked towards yewtee that time realised I didnt bring the medical form =.= No wonder I felt so empty.Went back to take and walk back again just to get chase back to take healthbooklet.Anyway, I'm going tml lol.
Random stuff,
I think I really cannot adapt to changes.After english paper on Wednesday,I headed to the new food junction with Melissa.So much changes have been done to it omg.): For that instant I felt really lost.Call me stupid or whatever but I wasn't aware of what's going on around me.I felt super helpless and lost.For that instant I thought the world was going too fast for me to catch up. Renovations all around me.Those common and mini malls are starting on their expansion and it seems like I am walking on the same spot.I know this is rly exaggerating but I didnt feel good.):
When walking to yewtee just now the streets so empty and lonely.No one,maybe just some construction workers): I saw the condo building @ the empty field again and I felt horrible.But I can't possibly ask people to stop when I can't catch up.Cause that's life,people aren't going to wait for you.
I hate this feeling.I want old things back.I want old times back.But I know this is definitely not going to happen because our standard of livings increase each day . I rly need to adapt to changes fast,if not I'll never survive and would probably be lagging behind.
Lost,lost,lost.
Saturday, April 26, 2008, 10:59 PM
[editted/]M.I.A
Will be back once exams' over.Tomorrow will be chinese paper.Jiayou everyone (: I want seoul garden trip with nikarians after exams! (:
Study hard people.Your results depend on your effort.
Plant an effort,bloom a breakthrough.
-Jocelyn.
NETBALLLLL(:Wait for me till exams' are over k!(:
--
OMGGG.Just taken a online test on the net and it's super true! It says that I'm very stress at the moment,with a lot of problems . Yet I decide to face it alone by not telling anyone.And that adds on to my problems cause I bear everything inside me.
Random please ! :X
Friday, April 25, 2008, 10:38 PM
amazement.I'm back to blogging again.This time I'm not gonna end it off with " gone to do my tuition homework " cause I've done them ALREADY,surprisingly. I usually rush them from 12-3.30 :X But I actually managed to finish them by 1.30pm! It then dawned to me that it's easy to study,but it's difficult to start studying.
Frankly speaking when I woke up at bout 11am,I really had the thought of starting doing my homework at 2pm or so.But I suddenly realised that I've been doing that since the past few weeks and no it's so not gonna work.So I struggled and unwillingly took out the worksheets and do.I began to find joy in doing homework.Asking questions to myself and figuring questions out used to be very tedious for me but now,it became something I really want to do.For that,I want to thank my tutor :D So yeah,done with whole of 2.8 , 2.9 high school paper and tys yay:D
Having my lunch now-porridge cause I'm sicking now. ):
Exams coming in like 2 or 1 day. JIAYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU:D
7:11 AM
I miss netball ):HELLLLOOOOO(:
Today was a short day!Had physics in the morning.MrGuay went through the quiz and a bit of the worksheet.Kind of sad cause it's his last day.And can see he really really put in a lot of effort in teaching our class okay. Like the OHP demonstration thingy yeap.And those silly and stupid questions which seemingly showed that I didn't pay attention during his class,he answered all. Till like 7pm+! Thanks so muchhhh MrGuay:D
Chinese was alright,went through paper 2 and really learnt a lot luh (: English,got back situation writing and went through.Sad ah,my english assignment no sticker!):
Maths was fun man. MrYeo go write " effort marks 0" in my paper WAHLAOOOO ): At first he write E then I thought is Excellent =____- I'm a C :D (Neat and tidy HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA) Went to HCL and had mock LC I got like 7/10? Practically sleeping.
Went to limbang to have lunch,then headed back to study.Did on physics only.Didn't really study as much today.Can't really concentrate.After that played captain's ball with the sec 4s super fun okay.It's just great to have your hands on some whatever ball again.But my stamina dropped wtf ):
Chatting to Gideondaddy now :D Finally he's out of army and omg,I can't imagine his botak head ! :D Sort of miss talking to him on msn! Oh well,as usual,I'm suaning him and stuff..LOL.
Tuition tomorrow.Bye(:
MUG HARD FOR MYE PEOPLEEEEEEEEEE(:
Random Facts bout me.
-I dislike chocolates.
-I love netball.
-I hate it when I talk to someone boring.
-I hate guessing.Esp those who sms/msn me and ask me to guess who they are.(Like totally not interested=.=)
-I can be very unfriendly.
-I believe determination is the winning key.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 5:09 AM
Happy Birthday Thoven :D Stay cuteeeeee and all the best in your studies!Sorry for the belated present to be!
Today was greatttttt!:D My day started with MrYeo briefing us about OBS,it sounded super cool and fun! Solo nightwalkkkkk,awesome. (;
English was okay.Learnt bout composition.SH was engaging today,learnt new stuff like making judgements and stuff.PE was kind of unexpected.We skipped!:D Skipping ropes are super coooool okay! Played catching with skipping rope and I swear it's super tiring k! But then,FUN's the word :D
Recess,worried bout chemistry.Thanks Melissa,Zhenyi,Peiling,Yongkian for explaining to me :D I was really worried bout it that I couldn't stop myself from flipping through the notes during Maths lesson luh . My attention was totally diverted elsewhere.
Before chem I was really super panicky okay.I couldn't concentrate nor focus,my mind was in a total mess.Hands shivering and stuff,I dont know why I feel that way.A bit exaggerating but,oh well.
Test started,in the end was the chapter 6 ws ! MCQ was kind of tough to me,the rest could remember some of the answers but I practically forgot everything =.= So did every question step by step.Open ended was alright.Every answer just comes naturally[maybe cause i still recall some].But I only know how to start for each question and then the rest I tried to link it to formula and logic.There're 2 questions I didnt know how to do.I was focusing really hard till I remember Melissa once said " compare the moles..ratio is 1:2 " or stuff like that,then I found the moles and solved the sums.Her voice kept echoing in my mind i dont know why!LOL.
Chinese was okay.My paper 2 which I anyhow fill in the MCQ got me 76.6% yayyy . After that was physics i.p by mr koh! It was really good yehhhh :D Understood better (; Had almost a 3 hours i.p gosh.After that did emaths paper and completed it with some unfinished sums.1 or 2 i think .
Headed home with Melissa and she said something damn bhb.I shall not disclosed her lest she's sad lah.Anyway,we both decided to be chinese ambassodors and speak fluent chinese from today onwards! The one who speak english first will have to treat the other one a drink.So far,she lost to me 2 drinks le luh =.=
Bathed,ate.Just came online to update.Gonna clear my physics now so I can clear my doubts by tml yup. Byeeeee:D
Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 7:38 AM
[Blogged at 10.40pm]YAYYYYYYYY I'M SUPER HAPPY NOW CAUSE I SURVIVED TUITION(: And it's not short okay! 2.30pm-6pm leh!(: Super super happy because I managed to clear up all my stupid sukadism in maths and my tutor finally retaught me emaths.It's just as though I've just relearn the whole of E maths.I finally know how to complete a square(w/o - sign i know it's =,=) , what's solving equations graphically and finding tangent yayyy . happy happy! I know these are just simple stuff which people already know like donkey years ago but I just felt really good.But i know tml i'll forget alrea lah =.=
Rained heavily in the morning.Physics was okay.Getting the hang outta it.SH was a lil dry though it was raining heavily HAHA (: But still I managed to stay focus.
Maths was okay.I pass my Amaths mock test.(Yeah,37marks,just pass lah) Not bad already okay! Was kind of sad when Awang and Uziel didn't believe me.I guess I got a lil tad sensitive but I dont know why I'm like that yah. I got really demoralised,but for that instant only lah (8 English was okay,kind of sleepy.Chem was just simply going through sums.
Rushed home,had tuition.One super good thing bout tuition is , I dont know why my tutor always have the ability to make me feel super motivated to study even after tuition . He just has got the ability to make me try solve a problem a zillion time if I dont manage to get it.
I thought today is going to be the worse night ever for I've really got a lot of things to do. Jiantiebu[oops] chinese paper2 and lots more.I thought I'm gonna stay up till midnight.But in the end I finished everything at 9.30pm kind of cool yeah. Revised chem but I dont understand a single thing): ): ): Revising physics and chem later.
I'm sorry but I dont think I can not online nor blog like what I've promised in the earlier post BUT,I will only use the com after I do finish my homework and revision. Yeah procrastinating lahhhhhhh.
Tomorrow will be goooooooood (: Byebyeeeeeeee:D
Sunday, April 20, 2008, 7:40 AM
Sometimes we have to think how we can make full use of the remaining time instead of complaining of insufficient time.Suddenly feel like blogging.Using my mom's laptop on the sofa now,lazy to go my desk and check my msn and stuff.
Met with Peiling today and headed to LJS for lunch(: Omg,she eat damn slow okay! I dont know why my appetite has been decreasing recently.Kept having leftover food yuckalo.Headed to Mc Cafe after that and did my chemistry and physics.Something cork up last night,couldn't do it. Managed to complete all chemistry and physics homework [with numerous questions blank though] so did social studies revision.Yay.I think I've sort of finish history and social studies yo.
After that Peiling randomly said she wanted to cut hair and I also randomly said I wanted to cut hair so we went to cut hair =.= Before that we went to Pastamania and had our dinner . Omgggg I ordered country baked pasta and I swear I regretted :X It's super milky and stuff,and people who're close to me should know I can't eat milky stuff. Just can't stand the smell of it manz . After a few pathetic mouthful I exchanged mine with Peiling ohmygod I just love her so!:D
Cut hair after that,mine looked the same but Peiling one is super cute okie!:D Couldn't stop laughing.I think my laughter is super contagious because when I started laughing,the patrons and the auntie started laughing too HAHAHAHA.Headed home after that.Gotta thank Peiling for being such a great pal manz. Always never fail to teach me chemistry,physics,maths,whatsoever!:D
Reached home,everyone's out.Had this really bad feeling.Was writing my english compo out halfway and I had this tinge of pain in my stomach.I ignored it but it gets more painful later.So I rest at the couch and that's when the tragedy starts.
Had this really dreading diarrhoea . I bet I've visited MrToilet for bout 10 times manz. (Just read Hwaiyi's blog and realised he's having stomachache too! Take care ahma!) I swear it was one of my worst diarrhoea,or probably my worst . My legs were wobbling and my hands were shivering can you imagine it? It was the first time I experienced such trauma because my diarrhoea hadnt' got any worse than this before!): It was the first time I know how it feels like breaking into cold sweats.Yes,cold sweats.And it's dripping kind yah.Sucks.The pain was excruciating and I felt like dying like seriously.It ended after what seemed like eternity.
So continued writing my english compo at bout 9.45pm?Revised maths and physics after that.It feels so good not rushing homework actually . Hwahwa,I shall do that more often yeah (8
This week is going to be super busy.I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to dish out time for my runs but I'll try my best k.Cause,
Monday - Maths i.p & staying back for chem and phy.
Tuesday - Maths tuition 3pm-6pm
Wednesday - Physics I.p 3pm-4.30pm(?) Staying back to clear some physics.
Thursday & Friday - Asking teachers questions.
Saturday - Tuition 4pm-8pm
Sunday - Studying with Puilingggg(:
It's sure a busy week,but I can survive.Can't believe MYE is arriving at bout 9 days time because I thought common test just ended.Totally fast but when it comes fast it'll go fast too yay.Actually I was having this 20days countdown some time ago and it's like 9 days already wtffff ): Nehmind,Jiayou DaJia.
Running 2.4km tml,fairymama,please clock me at 10minutes+ okie dokiezxz .
I think I better sleep now. Gotta wake up quite early to do some revisions yo.
xoxo.
Saturday, April 19, 2008, 1:00 AM
I'M BACCKKKK :DTuition postponed to 4.30PM HAHAHAHAHAH (:
Felt so motivated suddenly.I want to exercise,I want to studyy!(:
2.4km shall be a everyday thing from now on yo. (: It's always good to start studying with a refresh mind yeah.
Byebyeeeeeee:D
Friday, April 18, 2008, 9:56 PM
Last night,I really needed someone to talk to.Yesterday was crap.I thought I could have a peaceful night,at least one night without all those shit cryings but I was wrong. Something happened again.I really dont understand my mum sometimes.Y' know what,I really want to rant on and on in this blog but .. nvm.
Sports day?Another day perhaps.
I really miss netball.I thought I wouldnt miss it as much now but I just dreamt bout netball last night.The first thing I want to do when MYE is over is to play netball.
4hours tuition later,I can survive I must surviveeee(:
Studying with Peiling tml , I hope I can get my chemistry things right! Can't afford to scrape through ( if i can) this chemistry test anymore.JyJy.
Today shall be homework day and tml I'm gonna revise Chem+Physics and ask questions on monday yayyyyyy ! :D
MrGuay is really goooooood :D I stayed back on wed to ask him questions and he sort of re taught me static electricity and resistance. I wanna thank him manzxz,he's super patient.(: Can you believe it,it was till that day that I realise that protons cannot move =.= For that,I shall strive an A1 in physics :D
Chinese
English
Chemistry
Many more to go.But I know I can do it.
Thursday, April 17, 2008, 6:03 AM
Today was goooood :DSports day' tml!(:
16.04, all I ever wanted was for someone to believe me.
Friday, April 11, 2008, 11:51 PM
M.I.A Nah,don't be shocked.I'm really going to go MIA yes. MYE' arriving in like 15 days to be exact,and I definitely don't want to top the class from the bottom yeah.15 days,seemed long but nah,it's short.Trust me,I'm often a last minute mugger.It's really time to start mugging. Today shall be the last day of me using the computer! :D Hahah.
I know you're shocked. Jocelyn and dont-use-computer relates no link @ all yeah. For people who're rather close to me,know that I on computer 24/hour, just like 7 11 [HAHA] so I'll be able to surf the net anytime.But this time it's a challenge given by me to myself.I want to stop using computer for at least these 2 weeks, perhaps I'll just use it once in a while.Yeah.I hope I can resist the temptation(: I will.
But MIAing=no updates on sports day/interesting events.I'll make it up after I come back.That is,if I still remember what happened HAHAHA ;D Don't ask me why the sudden motivation,I was doing whole of chapter 2 just now and realise there's much more facts for me to discover yeap. And other subjects,there're definitely much more things for me to learn.
Btw,netball trainings' suspended.It's good in a way because MYE is important.But there again,I miss netball.But it's okay.I'll get them after the exams. Heh ;D These 2 weeks would be completely mugging week yo.
The first step has already started long ago,it's just that I'm not consistent.But consistency shall begin tml.
- Mugging with PeiLing tomorrow.
- Get my notebooks/pens/file divider/whatsnot tomorrow.
- Complete everything - Exercise 2.1-2.9 after tuition later.
- Finish Physics by tonight .
- Try to complete homework by tomorrow.
- Real revision starts tomorrow.
- Stay back/go home after school since there's finally a break from netball (Actually it's a long time since I've experienced a break for netball. Kind of excited to feel how is it like having no programmes/ccas after schoool HAHA)
- Night study/Group study in school.
- No more frisbee/netball for me.
- No computering/blogging for me.
- Listen attentively in class :D
- Get a new spectacles!
Hahah,no netball/frisbee for me anymore for these few weeks seem like torture...BUT,I'll endure.I'll still go out for runs once in a while though,I dont want to be physically weak when netball trainings resume. (8
Group study/Night study?Who's interested?HAHA,sounds cool yo.Tell me if you guys want (: Not online though,since I'll most probably not be online . Sms/Call me @ 9-8- 1-6- HAHA.
Tuition later,I hope it wont pass so fast.Cause I've got tonnes to consult my tutor. Like why lne=1,ln=loge,what the hell is change of base etc LOL . I only have got 2 hours with him since he's got sth on): Jiayou.
I'm really motivated and I really want to get good results for MYE. So JIAYOUUUU people! For those who haven't start studying,do start now cause 15 days aren't a lot seriously.
JIAYOU Nikarians,netballers,sscians,2aians,3eians,and my loved ones (:
Work hard for a miracle. (:
9:39 PM
Good morning yo.Tuition later.I must survive and clear all my doubts ): Logggggg here I come wahaha.So after that I shall go do a bit of revision and tml will be mugging day with Peiling yay.Btw,I got into the finals for the 100m raceeee . But the last few though lah. But like what Nadia've said,since I've got the chance,so might as well cherish it.But,my salary will be coming on sports day.Sucks big time. It will also be coming on my 2.4km run ARGHZ.
Bye.
5:51 AM
[editted/]Today was kind of rushed.Just last night,I realised I forgot to bring my physics workbook home >.< So woke up at 3am to go through physics notes to make sure I understand. Reached school @ bout 6.20am and did my physics question.Fairly easy cause most of the answers can be found in the textbook yeah.
Physics was alright, chinese was kind of rushed,english was FUN :D Miss Ratna went through some expressions thingy , and she asked what we often see in our mums' eye corner when they laugh.So I said wrinkles =.= Very reasonable right,everyone laugh at me can! She said should be laughlines=.= Next she asked what we usually do when we laugh,so we said stuffs like jumping around and yeah . Then she started saying we'll grin from ear to ear..uhhuh.then she suddenly ask " how bout your nose ! " then booby said " you'll scratch your nose when you laugh!" HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA It was damn funny okay.After that we kept laughing while scratching our nose ! :X Super funny.When we're in a smaller class,we tend to speak up more which is GOOOOOOOOD ;D
Maths was okay,had a rough and hard time understanding though): Headed to 3I and did our paper 1.Failing it for sure cause I write very lil ): Headed to netball training after that.Had 2.4km run.Initially I really didn't want to run with th group cause I didnt want to be so pressurised,but in the end I still ran cause it's really very selfish lah.The first round seemed so slow,so I gave up mentally and sort of paced down the second round.In the end Melissa told me our timing for the first round was 4.43minutes ): Oh well,just not mentally strong enough.Shall work doubly hard next time!Was clocked at 10.33minutes.Deproveee):
MissYeo came to have a talk with us.Very true.But those who needed the talk to help them to reflect upon themselves were not there.The team gotta be more disciplined srsly. Learn to manage studies and time , it's not as if you're the only one who needs revision right? Yeah,had physical after that and slacked in school.
Aloysius had a hard time teaching me rubiks cubeeee I'm kind of addicted to it yeah.Dont know why everyone started playing rubiks cube all of the sudden -_______- After tht headed home @ 7.15pm.
I want to change,I gotta change.
Maths tuition tml,4hours.I can endure.
--
Btw there's this new horoscope now! Starts with O , can't seem to remember.Which means I'm a gemini now. Which is so =_____- I'm definitely a cancer okay. Gemini doesn't suit me at all.With this new horoscope around,which means last time those horoscope tests are untrue? Hmm. I can't accept the fact that I'm actually a gemini ): I dont want to be oneeeeeee! ROARR):
I LOVE NETBALL <3
Thursday, April 10, 2008, 4:44 AM
Today was great :DLast night,I was packing my worksheet and stuff cause I've got like 3 foolscap pads with homework/different subject ws all around! While I was packing,I broke down.I just broke down like that ): All of the sudden I just feel that I'm very disorganised and messy. Then I just cried.Kind of lame.
This morning woke up and headed to school . Had house meeting and trial test.Zelia,ting,one sec 4 girl and me got into the relay team goooo ibex :D The cheering team got louder tooooo YAY. In the end Chem only have like 10 minutes left T.T Went through 2 questions then lessons over already!
Maths was okay.But I don't understand at all.I feel so stupid because even though tutor has already explained to me,I couldn't recall anything): Sigh.
Chinese was okay.Went through paper 2.Dont know why didnt feel as sleepy yay. SH was better,cause Mr Tan seemed to have learnt how to engage us with other topics instead of yalking away bout history/ss stuff yeah.Oh btw,zhenyi,yongkian and me bet on what's mr tan's reaction bcos' we're late for the class,and,I WON AGAIN.-grins-
CE ROCKS.Yeah,the financial talk.Initially I wasn't very engaged/involved lah :X Was trying to rubiks cube but apparently I failed terribly haha. It was only like the last 45 minutes then I started playing the stock gameeee.Mr Cheng came in halfway and yay,he gave some of us oreos.Brandon and Zhenyi had them and we have a blasting time trying to fool that they have black teethhhhhh :D HAHAHA,Mr Cheng played along but that booby go tell brandon the truth ! Bite her black teeth booby HAHAHA.
Played the stock game,DAMN FUN OKAY.First zhenyi and me bought the landed property despite having no money :X But didn't care,just wrote down bleahhh :X I suggested this auto loan thingy.Auto loan = loan from bank without permission.But apparently there's no such thing,we just anyhow loan HAHAHAHA.So somehow we got the money,and bought the condo.
The next moment,some buyer wanted to buy at 1.1 million . HAHAHA,WE ARE TERRIBLY RICH YO. Then our stocks made money toooo XD XD Soon it was 2.30pm,lesson ended like so fast when we played the game?! FUNFUN . The trainer asked if who has above 1million and I RAISED MY HAND PROUDLY HAHAHAHAHA. Which means zhenyi has 5.5 million while i have 5.5 million.Thanks to my auto loan?!
HAHA,MrCheng kind of get obsessed over my earnings ( or maybe he's jealous HAHAHA) so he wanted me to be his financial assistant.He kept bugging me to sell his car for 1.1million!! Initially it was damn funny but after that he kept talking me involving money LOL . But of course all kidding one lah.
Headed for training after that.Seriously thought it would be damn boring but boy I was wronggg.Had prata with Melissa but I was still so hungry ):
Headed to run 2.4km after that.Woah,bout 1 week+ since I've ran . Melissa and Ginny ran first.Then Melissa helped me to time after that. Was clocked at 10.27 minutes. I dont know why my results seemed better at the first time after we haven't ran for long! And fyi,I hate running with Melissa.She knows why,but she loves running with me HAHA.
Static passes after that,played this super boliao game with Melissa . I still win her can,her reactions is like,super slow!LOL. Drills and stuff,I totally went crazy.I practically go siao ding dong already.Dont know why today so high :X
Wanted to play game,but then it rained WTF lah ! So slacked and played shooting game with bra and ting,BRA LOST AND HAD TO DO BALLET DANCE ACROSS THE COURT MUAHAHHA. But previously I did star jumps okay! XD
Went home and saw mummy on the way.Then yuting and redbra was behind.They kept laughing okayyyy! In the end I found out that they were betting on the number of times I've turned back.SUPER LAME LAH.
I'm super tired now, maybe cause of training and homework.Still considering to do my revision now, or wake up at 3am to do. Hmm, shall see then.Bye:D
It's okay to fall,just remember to get up.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008, 2:42 AM
Heats 2 was bad ):And you don't have to bring me down like that.
Sunday, April 6, 2008, 4:21 AM
Today was fruitful (: Met Peiling at Jurong Library and as usual , I was late.Uhmm,ahem,very late :X Was smsing her along th way though.Reached there like finally and revised on my chemistry yay.It was really suffocating to be in the library with me being very loud,so I suggested to go Mc cafe and study because we just had to talk.So left at around lunch time to lot oneeee :D
Wanted had something healthy so ate yong tau foo.Yes,first time in my life.First time getting th bowl and selecting the food yourself.Sounds cool?It's very! :D Hehe,had fruits after that.Fabulous yes.
Went to Mc Cafe and studied bout mole concept , and I managed to memorise lens (the placing and everything ) within 15 minutes. I'm very proud of myself (: Taught Peiling Maths after that and I'm kind of happy cause at least there's one person who understood my teaching (: Did physics after that.
Study with Peiling is nothing but great.She really pushes you hard and makes sure you understand she rocks yayy (: I think I understand mole concept better now. Hehs. But I hope ___ won't call me out and start the preaching again yeah ):
Headed to LJS for dinner after that.Chatted a lot and woa,Peiling eats damn slow can! :P I think I'm eat twice her speed yeah .LOL. Talked a lot bout everything,esp sec 1 and sec 2 .Super funny please:D
Headed home and I'm going to start on my chinese now.After which I'll do my physics and chemistry. I'm going on the right track,at least I think so.
I can't believe I actually spent 6hours+ mugging without stopping,and it was a fruitful one.Thanks peiling(: Physics test tml,I want to do well in it.
Had a great chat with Lynn yesterday.Her words made hellot of sense yay. Thanks Lynn,and you work hard too k! :D
Yeah.Time to wipe away the tears and walk on.I'm more than who you think I am,I'm more than who I think I am.
You can wait for a chance . But time will not wait for you.
Saturday, April 5, 2008, 4:32 AM
Record breaking reflection
Shaonianwenzhai worksheet
Just survived the 3 1/2 hour tuition. I'm happy. Logarithm is fun,but also kind of tough.Practice makes perfect though.I have to complete the whole of 2.3,2.4,2.5,2.6 by next Saturday.That's my aim.
Monday-Do homework.
Tuesday-Netball
Wednesday-Sports heats 2
Thursday-Netball
Friday-Netball
Saturday-Tuition
Sunday-Study
I'm going to finish all my homework by today.I shall wipe my tears and continue this tedious journey.
I broke down again.I can't believe I'm such a fucking useless wimp.
I can do it. I'm torn into pieces long ago. I'm no longer who I am,and now I'm who I'm not.Jocelyn?who is she?
Friday, April 4, 2008, 6:35 PM
ThursdayChemistry was really bad. I cried,but it wasn't for chemistry.Not at all.Only Zhenyi knows I guess.I tried very hard to not think of it,to control the tears but apparently I failed.I think it was th most wooha cry I've cried in school for my entire life.
After that was Maths,the tears didn't stop.It just kept flowing and flowing.I couldn't think.I dont know why. I can stop thinking bout it but I just couldn't stop the tears from flowing.When I'm doing a sum,the tear just roll down like that.My heart crushed. Things were bad.I mean really bad.
I had a really glum face and stuff during recess.It was rather okay during recess.But when we assembled in the parade square,it just have to start again. You might think it's childish to cry so long over ________ but you dont know cause you're not me.
History amazing race briefing after that.It was bad cause we will go for th race late as we had to attend th financial talk.):
Chinese was better,my eyes were really swollen but MdmYong just manage to cheer me up in some ways :D Went back to class,slacked about and talked with Yk,Melissa,Zy,Uziel and Brandon.Shared various experiences and it was hell funny.Uziel told me a joke which is so not funny.Oh well,till now I don't even get it -.-
Next up was financial talk,it was really boring.I began falling asleep and stuff. I couldn't help myself but to think of it now,perhaps I'll manage to keep myself awake if I take th effort too.Oh well.
Headed to amazing race. Ate linglongbao and it's so nice ! :D
Amazing race.
Facilitator : Zul,and maybe a bit of Jiazhi XD
Time : 2pm+
First station
Venue:School
Task:To find a piece of paper in the parade square.
We found the paper,and it was a poem. We're supposed to read the poem and sort out the literary devices the poet uses in his poem.We were damn spastic I swear.We got the poem and shoved it to Amelia,expecting her to give us the next clue -.- We looked at the poem,then the first thing which came to my mind was rhyme. Cause that's th most basic thing to have in a poem.Amelia was like " Wow,haha" IN THE END I WAS RIGHT OKAY.
Got the second station and then we didn't even see and started running out of the school ?!?! I was having a hard time chasing them with the linglongbao in my stomach and mouth T.T Reached the school gate and open the envelop.If the next station at school will be damn malu okay! :X HAHA. But it was national library.
So boarded MRT there, then Jiazhi told us our next station is changed to Arts House.So everyone went around asking where's art house and stuff.Then there's this lady and guy who were having their earphones on,we kept calling and they didnt reply . Super lmao!
Reached cityhall,then headed to citylink.Btw we took the wrong route. HAHA.But there's this funny incident which happened lah.Zhenyi and Yongkian were busy asking some passerbys while Melissa and me headed to CD drama and asked.There's this really funky guy at th counter.
Melissa and me : Excuse,do you know where's the art house?
Guy : Sure,wait a minute.
-he started typing "art house" and melissa and me thought it was damn technologised cause he's able to tell ask the location with a click.
Guy : Hmm,is it a vcd or dvd?
UHMMMMM -.- We totally broke into laughters and I couldn't stop -___- Haha,went around after that,reached several wrong locations and finally reached art house -.- I reckon we probably spent like 1 hour looking for it -.-
Second station
Venue:Art house
Task: Find the chief of justice who served the longest and shortest and the chief of justice who handled Maria Hertough's case.
We started finding.We managed to answer th first question but we just couldn't find the second answer! In the end,I heard from ting that its in some flip board -.- So we did a forfeit,which is to get telephone number from a security guard who's first day @ work.LOL,so cool please! So we went to find, and the first security guard managed to be at his first day of work ! :D So we asked and asked.
Us : Please uncle...we wont disclosed it one lah! We just have to do a forfeit..
Uncle : Cannot! Later my wife know how!
Us : Please.. We will throw away your number after that one!
Uncle : -thinks and gave us- So which one of you is going to give me your number?
-.-
Third station
Venue : White sir stamford raffles.
Task : Get 2 people to take 2 pictures posing like sir stamford raffles :D
Super easy task.I think we completed less than 4 minutes! Tourists were super on okay! Caucasians were like " oh okay , sure " Cool character :D :D
Next venue was some twin tower (chopstick like) and oh dear,we definitely had a rough and hard time finding it cause it was SUPER FAR AWAY T.T Ran there,and it was terribly fun ! :D
Fourth station
Venue : Chop-stick like tower.
Task : Count the number of storeys raffles hotel's got.
OMG.Damn dizzy okay ! ): It has 70+ storeys and we certainly had a hard time trying to count it.Make my eyes dizzy fizzy! LOL Luckily we got the answer right at the third attempt wahahaha :D
Next venue was victoria concert hall. Ran back again,and it started to pour ! ): We ran in the end and were really drenched ! Reached there,and played concentration plus bang bang game.SUPER FUN (: Took some spastic photos , locate them at Yk's/Melissa's blog :D :D
Headed back was really sad,started to think of those stuffs again but I didn't cry (: Reached lot one,went to buy Mac and headed back to school with redbra.
And th surprise arrived ! :D We brought th cake out and sang birthday song for lovely melissa.Shucks,she didn't cry): LOL.Jk, ate and stuff,headed home with tinggggg :D
Happy Birthday Melissa loveee :D
Overall the thing is damn fun! Thanks to all sec 4s who've organised this,esp our facilitator Zul and Jiazhi (: They got drenched because of us okay ! And of course mr ashley tan :D
Headed home and that's where another tragedy started again. All the doubtings start,and all the nightmares come haunting me again.
Anyway,thanks to Zhenyi,Melissa,Brandon,Uziel,MrTan,Isabel and some others. I guess you guys are the only ones who noticed my tears (:
Friday
Had house meeting,and after that was chinese.I had to stand up to read a paragraph OMGGGGGGGG XD LOL. Machiam first time please. Hmm,after that was english.Kinda okay.Maths was scary.MrYeo shouted real loud.Yeah,real loud! Headed for assembly after that.
Humanities debate! Not many screamed for 3E ): But I did scream okay. WE WONNNNN (: Good job to Shuhua,Yk,Awang and Sumin ! (: Shuhua even got the best speaker award.Like super coolstuff (:
Hcl kinda slack.Headed home to change to my sports shoes.They were wet!): But just wear,totally heck care.
Reached CCK stadium AND WTF I GET TO PASTE STICKERS FOR IBEX YAY.But not many teachers ran for Ibex! ): Viceprincipal rocks!!!(: He's a hero I love him HAHAHAHA.I can't say why though! I witnessed many Ibex runners and that's seriously a good thing okay! Thanks to everyone ;D
IBEX GOT THIRD WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.Grats to Jaguar and Rhino who got 1st and 2nd respectively.Other houses did a great job too ! (:
Then everyone got spastic.Okay,maybe only me.Y' know,stadium,tracks,running. AND A WANG HAHAHAHA.Started to imitate how A wang runs, and I suggested th A wang race ! (:
So Daniel.L,Yuting,Aloysius,Brandon,Keith,Daniel.C,Subhaan, and more joined in the race! We were supposed to run like A-wang HAHA. Stupid Daniel.L went around telling people that when I shout start! let me run alone and paiseh lo.WTF.
Dan.L : Eh..later jocelyn run liao everyone dont run okay.
Jocelyn : -Taps his shoulder and says hi -
He probably got a bad scare HAHA. We started laughing after that.
So the race started officially.And I thought they would run with me since I already know what they intended to do.IN THE END THEY DIDN'T WTHHHHH ): Left me alone running so malu can ! ):
Second attempt,only Aloysius and me ran! ): And aloysius ran because he know that nobody will run and dont want me to be so malu ! ROAR.
Emo liao.
Just kidding.
After that had 100m race,bunnyhopping race and many more SIAOSTUFF. HAHAA.Damn nice please ! :D Helped seniors take pictures OHMYGOD I'M SUCHA GOOD PHOTOGRAPHER YO.
Heh,went home after that cause I was really very tired and shagged.
Tuition later.4 hours.I'll endure.
************************************
Everyone's playing hard for me. I can't seem to find my confidence,my trueself,my thoughts,and my talent. Everyone's hitting me so hard that I seem to lose them all . I no longer know what I'm good at,and start doubting if I'm actually useful.
Coach did that once.She asked me to shoot and the others ran for me. They ran for me.I didn't dare to shoot after that.I was afraid to shoot everytime I imagine the team running for me.
And MrShasi have to do that again.
My confidence drowned in this reality.
Netball, passion? Why am I thinking that netball trainings are boring these few weeks ? Do I even have the passion ? Or is the passion there because I'm always in the main team?If I were to be a reserve/recreational player,would I still work as hard?
I dont know why this thought come to my mind.I really want to do my best.But after the shooting and chemistry lesson . I started doubting myself on studies,netball,life,friends,everything. And it's all ruining me. Somehow I've lost my direction in life.I dont know where I stand now.I dont know what I seek for in life now.I dont know what I should achieve or do in life now. This' hitting me hard , real hard.
Just get your ass down on th chair and study and prove to the teachers you say.
But it's not easy y' know.
I really want to stand up even taller and stronger after I fall.But I can't seem to do that. I can no longer find the strength I needed to help me up again.Myself? I'm useless,remember?
Everything's so screwed up. These are only minor downs in my life,yet I can't even survive it. Is my mentality really that weak..?
But thank you MrShasi,your words are true.They're like a slap hit right on my face.But without them,I might not have woken up back to this harsh reality.
Help.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008, 5:00 AM
MondayLessons were okay. Let's jump to after school :D Headed to NUH with gideon,zhenyi,nadia,yuting,peisi,jiaqi,dan.l,yongkian,dan.c,jiashun,amanda,and...I FORGOT XD
Lots of stuff happened in between.Finally trained to buona vista.I was damn sensitive to jiashun's feeling okay! :D I sensed tht he's feeling outcasted cause he's th only 2C-ian so I went to talk to him (: Noble me.HAHA.
Reached NUH.It was really huge.Many wards,many departments,many beds,many patients.Hospital.A place where we can witness a life and death,pain and struggles,happiness and sadness.It's been a really long time since I've went to th hospital.The last time I went was...perhaps when I'm 6 ? Yeah long time since I've visit th hospital.The smell of th hospital is so familiar,but of course I wouldn't like it. Hospital is just so , scary.
Reached samuel's ward.Well,he looked really weak,really pale.But still can crack jokes and roll eyes lah! (: When I see him so skinny and everything,I really felt like crying.But I thought that since he was so brave to endure this stuff,I shall not be so weak.And suddenly,I realise life can be that vulnerable.Very indeed.
A sensation,I dont know what though,just gush into me and I've got mixed feelings.Tried to talk to him,he sounds really miserable with th food and all ): I got a tad curious bout the hospital medical equipments.Luckily my hands weren't that itchy to fiddle with them haha. Well,almost.
Chatted with Samuel,Gideon and amanda first.It was really nice seeing samuel being fine and all :D While th others went in,went to play playground YAYYYYYY :D The swing there rocks!:D It was really fun yo.
Hanged around and stuff,headed to the foodcourt and had chicken chop.Oh my gosh,I swear I wouldn't want them again.Their chicken chop sucks to the core,possibly with no effort and heart put in when cooking them.Their fries were green.Yuckalo! As much as I tried very hard concentrating to finish that plate of really awful thingaye, my lovely -ahem- gideon daddy's got to disturb me by teaching me the correct method to eat th chicken chop.But as usual,I didnt give a damn.HAHA (:
Had fun having dinner with them.Dad left,and some of us left th hospital.I wouldnt want to go there again.): Boarded th shuttle bus,trained home.It was really squeezy and I seriously felt like sleeping z.z
Tuesday
Lessons were okay except english.I swear I almost slept ): Was really tired yawnz.Had 2.4,I ran one round only though because I kept swallowing back my vomit till I couldn't tahan it.Wanted to run after training but it rained.But I'll make it up someday. Had warm up,glad that coach finally came.She's been so busy with her primary school netball recently.Had court games.I prefer being a C . Alternate between GA and C.Courtgame wasn't very good,shall improve on it.
Rained heavily after that. Was feeling unwell and stuff,really cold.Drenched when got home.Shoes were soaked.
Slept really late.
Wednesday
Lessons were alright except for chinese.I swear I've never felt that tired before.I wanted to sleep so badly that I couldnt stop myself from lying on th table.I do that rarely because I know the least respect we can ever show to teacher is to listen attentively.And I failed to do that today ): I slept for perhaps a minute and woke up.What's wrong with me? ):
Chinese oral was as usual,really bad. ):
Slacked in school because it rained AGAIN ): Thanks gideonsh daddysh for teaching me ss though you were tired and really couldn't think HAHA. Slacked,headed to lot one.Was really disappointed and guilty cause ________ .
Nadia bought 2 cakes from Mac . Oreo cheesecake and some apple crumble thingy?Turns out tht th oreo cheesecake is for me.MEEEEEEE :D I didn't accept it though.Cause I wanna have oreo cheesecake on my birthday.Sounds stupid cause it's only a cake but it meant something else for me.Neverthless,it's super sweet for nadnut to do that okay! (: Thanks so much braaaaa <3
Bused home.
Going to do my homework soon yeah.There'll be history amazing race tml. HELLOTS OF FUN ;D Am looking forward to it.Melissa's birthday tml too :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GRACE (8
"i might fall,but i swear i'll stand up even stronger and taller."